How can a Dysfunctional Childhood Show Up
You’ll be surprised at how your dysfunctional childhood manifests in your adult life. The effects of it can be seen in your relationships, your career, and even in your basic needs. Changing this pattern is possible.
Being aware of both the cause and the effect of your childhood is the first step. Maybe you’re playing small at work because you’re afraid of making a mistake if you push yourself to the next level, even if you’re qualified. It can appear as people-pleasing. It may even be you putting aside your basic needs, such as using the restroom, to fit into someone else’s schedule when it’s convenient for you to do so.
Without change, this pattern can keep you in a life you don’t want.
How Dysfunctional Childhoods impact your adult life
Hard truth…I wish I knew sooner.
Some people don’t love you; they just love the benefits that come with you.
The fastest way to weed them out is to set boundaries and observe whose behavior changes.
A funny thing happens when we start to prioritize our needs and please ourselves; some people in our lives will become displeased. As you having weak boundless highly benefited them.
At one point in my life, almost everyone in it was TAKING from me, and I was letting them.
How it showed up in relationships
- Some drained my energy
- Some drained my bank account
- Some drained my confidence
As a recovering codependent and people pleaser, I didn’t know how to all of a sudden set boundaries and new rules without pissing these people off.
A wise mentor of mine said to me, “to avoid upsetting people, you’re willing to sacrifice your life?”
Well dang, when she put it that way!
This is exactly why as your coach, I will always give it to you straight, as the tough truths and wisdom are what we need to hear (not always what we want to hear).
How to change the pattern in your life
If you state your clear priorities, needs, desires, and limitations make people upset and leave you, they never loved to begin with…they loved what did for them or what they could get from you.
I brought an expert in dysfunctional dynamics and relationships on the podcast (@LauraKConnell), so you can deeply understand where the need to people please comes from.
Connect with Laura K Connell:
Instagram: @LauraKConnell
Website & Blog: laurakconnell.com
Book (coming in 9/2023): It’s Not Your Fault [Distributor: Simon and Schuster, Publisher: HCI Books]
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Welcome to ProjectME the Podcast with your host Tiffany Carter, who takes the mystery out of making BIG money. A former NBC and CBS TV journalist, turned multi-millionaire entrepreneur, teaching you all things wealth, health, worth, and business. You can follow Tiffany on Instagram @projectme_with_tiffany on Facebook @projectmewithtiffany and watch her TV episodes on ProjectME TV with Tiffany Carter on YouTube.
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