How Dysfunctional Childhood Types Impact your Life with Laura K. Connell, Trauma Informed Coach

How can a Dysfunctional Childhood Show Up

You’ll be surprised at how your dysfunctional childhood manifests in your adult life. The effects of it can be seen in your relationships, your career, and even in your basic needs. Changing this pattern is possible.

Being aware of both the cause and the effect of your childhood is the first step. Maybe you’re playing small at work because you’re afraid of making a mistake if you push yourself to the next level, even if you’re qualified. It can appear as people-pleasing. It may even be you putting aside your basic needs, such as using the restroom, to fit into someone else’s schedule when it’s convenient for you to do so.

Without change, this pattern can keep you in a life you don’t want.

How Dysfunctional Childhoods impact your adult life

Hard truth…I wish I knew sooner.

Some people don’t love you; they just love the benefits that come with you.

The fastest way to weed them out is to set boundaries and observe whose behavior changes.

A funny thing happens when we start to prioritize our needs and please ourselves; some people in our lives will become displeased. As you having weak boundless highly benefited them.

At one point in my life, almost everyone in it was TAKING from me, and I was letting them.

How it showed up in relationships

Some drained my energy
Some drained my bank account
Some drained my confidence

As a recovering codependent and people pleaser, I didn’t know how to all of a sudden set boundaries and new rules without pissing these people off.

A wise mentor of mine said to me, “to avoid upsetting people, you’re willing to sacrifice your life?”

Well dang, when she put it that way!

This is exactly why as your coach, I will always give it to you straight, as the tough truths and wisdom are what we need to hear (not always what we want to hear).

How to change the pattern in your life

If you state your clear priorities, needs, desires, and limitations make people upset and leave you, they never loved to begin with…they loved what did for them or what they could get from you.

I brought an expert in dysfunctional dynamics and relationships on the podcast (@LauraKConnell), so you can deeply understand where the need to people please comes from.

Connect with Laura K Connell:

Instagram: @LauraKConnell

Website & Blog: laurakconnell.com

Book (coming in 9/2023): It’s Not Your Fault [Distributor: Simon and Schuster, Publisher: HCI Books]

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Welcome to ProjectME the Podcast with your host Tiffany Carter, who takes the mystery out of making BIG money. A former NBC and CBS TV journalist, turned multi-millionaire entrepreneur, teaching you all things wealth, health, worth, and business. You can follow Tiffany on Instagram @projectme_with_tiffany on Facebook @projectmewithtiffany and watch her TV episodes on ProjectME TV with Tiffany Carter on YouTube.

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Recent Episodes

Ep 785 Money, Fear & Your Nervous System: What’s Really Controlling Your Income PART FOUR: FAWN RESPONSE

You’re doing everything right.

You’re reliable, supportive, and easy to work with. You care about people. You go above and beyond.

But when it comes to money and success… something isn’t adding up.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re giving more than you’re receiving, struggling to ask for more, or holding back your voice to keep the peace — this episode explains why.

The fawn response is one of the most overlooked patterns when it comes to money. It shows up as people-pleasing, overdelivering, avoiding conflict, and prioritizing being liked over being paid.

And it quietly caps your income, your growth, and your ability to fully step into your next level.

In this episode, I break down how the fawn response affects your financial decisions, your career or business, and your relationship with money — backed by psychology, nervous system science, and real-world patterns.

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Ep 784 Money, Fear & Your Nervous System: What’s Really Controlling Your Income PART THREE: FREEZE RESPONSE

If you’ve been feeling stuck, unmotivated, or like you just can’t get yourself to sell or take action in your business… this episode will explain exactly why.

What most people label as procrastination or lack of discipline is often a nervous system response called freeze, and it quietly impacts your income more than you realize.

In this episode, I break down how the freeze response shows up specifically around money, sales, and visibility. You’ll understand why you can know exactly what to do and still not do it, how your brain is wired to avoid perceived financial risk, and why your income can stall even when you’re “doing all the right things.”

This is where neuroscience, psychology, and money behavior intersect.

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Ep 783 Money, Fear & Your Nervous System: What’s Really Controlling Your Income PART TWO: FLIGHT RESPONSE

You tell yourself you’ll deal with it later.
You’ll check your numbers tomorrow. You’ll follow up next week. You’ll finally get clear on your money “when things calm down.”

But that moment never seems to come.
And instead… you stay busy doing everything else.

In this episode, we’re breaking down the flight response with money — the pattern that looks like procrastination, distraction, or “being busy,” but is actually your nervous system trying to avoid discomfort.

This is part of a special series on money, fear, and your nervous system, where we uncover how fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses shape your income, business decisions, and ability to receive more.

Because avoiding money doesn’t mean you don’t care about it.
It usually means, on a deeper level… it doesn’t feel safe.

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