When Things don’t go your way, Enter the Self-Doubt Spiral

When things aren’t working it’s easy to doubt yourself

Most people go into self-judgment when their egos are bruised, especially when something we wanted so badly doesn’t happen. It happens to me too, despite thousands of hours of therapy, coaching, and personal development. In my default mode, I am bad.

We all do it, it’s not just you. Whenever we fail to achieve a goal, we tend to spiral into self-doubt. The truth is that you can’t be perfect and you can’t make everything perfect. There are times when things take longer than we expect or we are pushed in another direction. This doesn’t mean you have failed it means you are learning and growing. Try to pull yourself out of one of these cycles if you find yourself in one.

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Self-Doubt can sneak up on you

It’s never 100% about you.

When our egos get bruised, especially after wanting something so badly to happen and it doesn’t, most people instantly go into self-judgment. 

> The guy or girl doesn’t like you back in that way.

> Almost no one bought the course you’re selling. 

> You didn’t land the client you thought was a for sure yes.

> Someone ghosts you or no shows an appointment

This likely triggers you into thinking “What’s Wrong with Me?”

When we have a core wound from childhood that we are defective in some way, not good enough, not entirely lovable…it’s so easy to take someone else words, choices, or behaviors personally. 

Anytime this crap comes up for me I say these three words on repeat, “This isn’t personal.” 

There are dozens of factors why people make the decisions they do, and very few of them are about you personally. If your side of the street is clean, and you’re operating with kindness and integrity, there is nothing else you could have done. Period.

This person, this client, this opportunity wasn’t meant for you right now, otherwise it would have happened differently. 

A hint…. The stronger attachment you have to your desired outcome the higher the likelihood that it won’t happen. Because, you are basing your well-being and self-worth at the hands of something outside of yourself, and this is rooted in fear, insecurity, and scarcity. The OPPOSITE of abundance. 

You will learn how to better navigate this crushing self-doubt in this episode. 

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