This is too hard. I GIVE UP!!!!
I said this at least fifty times a week, the year I decided to end my life.
Really, I had been saying it my entire life, but I didn’t feel anyone could hear me, or that anyone cared. Including God.
But I kept pushing through, I went to every form of therapy I’m aware of, read countless self-help books, watched every damn episode of Dr. Phil, ate my feelings, drank my feelings, dissociated into work, exercise, relationships, and sleeping pills.
All of these things did keep me alive, but I felt lifeless, like the walking dead. Zero excitement or joy for life, didn’t know my deeper purpose (and didn’t think I was good enough to have one), and I believed that God forgot about me.
My outsides didn’t match my insides.
As I was planning my suicide, I still had my gel nails on point, hair highlighted, went to the gym 6 days a week (often 2 a days), paid all of my bills, traveled all the time, partied, and even smiled in photos.
No one saw my pain, even those I shared it with….they thought, “Tiffany obviously isn’t that bad or she wouldn’t be doing ___________.” (this is what they told me years later)
You may not be feeling this low, but I guarantee many of you have felt like giving up on something recently…your dream business, your hope for a relationship, your health battle, your inner healing journey.
I promise you won’t hear any annoying platitudes from me like, “time heals all wounds,” “you are just stressed right now,” “you gotta push through it.”
If you are having suicidal thoughts call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 (open 24/7) or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org and you can web chat if you don’t have the energy to talk to someone live.
Welcome to ProjectME the Podcast with your host Tiffany Carter, who takes the mystery out of making BIG money. A former NBC and CBS TV journalist, turned multi-millionaire entrepreneur, teaching you all things wealth, health, worth, and business. You can follow Tiffany on Instagram @projectme_with_
