How to Stop Beating Yourself Up

It’s time to stop beating yourself up.

It is easy to fall into a pattern of beating yourself up. There are times when we are our own worst enemies. We can feel anxious, depressed, and unworthy when this happens to us. Unless we break this cycle, it can lead to damaging self-talk for days, weeks, months, or even years.

Here’s how you can stop beating yourself up. To change your behavior, you must make a conscious effort. Practice kindness towards yourself and give yourself some grace. Although it might not be easy, it’s worth it if you want to achieve success.

I’ve been beating myself up.

Calling myself out for all of us…a week in a negative brain spiral.

This time of year, I call the “Pressure Cooker of Dirty Diapers.” It’s when the dopamine has worn off from the New Year’s high, and the DOING of all things is in full force. Everything feels like it’s spinning, it’s all too much, and it makes me want to quit and run away to the Italian countryside.

In all honesty, I set myself up for this mental sh%t storm…without realizing it. You likely have to, which is why I’m sharing this story.

How did I get myself into this negative thinking pattern?

It started the second week of December, when I dreamed up a list of all the things I want to get done during the holidays and that “down” period between Christmas and New Year’s:

Clean out my closets to donate to charity
Review and approve all of my emails & sales page for my big launch in 2023
Write a chunk of my book
Start Pilates again
Review every page of my website and provide edits to my team

Writing these down made me feel empowered like I have my sh%t together (insert the dopamine high).

Then when the time came to do the things, I felt so overwhelmed it was paralyzing. Where do I even begin? It felt like so much, and none of it felt fun. (insert procrastination)

As each day passed that I didn’t cross off any one of these things, I started to beat myself up for being lazy, unmotivated, and not wanting to do these things that would only benefit me and other people.

Then in an attempt to get some relief, I told myself I would do these things in January. Well…nothing changed. I then started to beat myself up even more, to the point that it ignited my depression and anxiety disorders.

How did I stop beating myself up?

It wasn’t until day 5 of feeling like crap, that I caught myself. Since when does being hard on ourselves and beating ourselves up make anything better? Yet most of us do this on autopilot. Here I am after many years of doing this work, and I still get sucked into it.

When I shared this on Instagram, the response was insane. This is a widespread issue that needs to be discussed. Listen and learn how to shift out of it.

(LAST CHANCE to work with me 1:1 for a long time!)

WINTER APPLICATIONS ARE OPEN for my famous 2-Month Private Business Coaching program: Private Coaching Application

(I only take 6 clients at a time)

Join the FAMOUS ProjectME Posse Business Coaching Membership

YOUR Season of Abundance Walk: Guided Meditation Series

Click here to get it for FREE!! projectmewithtiffany.com/seasonofabundance

Welcome to ProjectME the Podcast with your host Tiffany Carter, who takes the mystery out of making BIG money. A former NBC and CBS TV journalist, turned multi-millionaire entrepreneur, teaching you all things wealth, health, worth, and business. You can follow Tiffany on Instagram @projectme_with_tiffany on Facebook @projectmewithtiffany and watch her TV episodes on ProjectME TV with Tiffany Carter on YouTube.

Subscribe to Tiffany’s FREE weekly digest, The Secret Posse, and get exclusive content you won’t find anywhere else: millionaire mindset exercises, custom weekly abundance affirmations, and her best money-making tips.

Recent Episodes

Ep 817 The “Everything is Going to Sh!t” Phase before Your BIGGEST Quantum Leap w/ Shamina Taylor, Attorney Turned Wealth Expert

What if the moment when everything in your life seems to be falling apart at once isn’t proof that you’re going backward, but part of what happens before your biggest expansion?

Wealth expert and creator of The Quantum Woman™ framework Shamina Taylor joins Tiffany for a deeply honest conversation about what a quantum leap actually looks like in real life, including the part nobody wants to talk about: the breakdown before the breakthrough.

Shamina takes us inside her own quantum crash-out, when the successful life she had built began crumbling and forced her to confront what achievement, logic and pushing harder could no longer fix. What came next required emotional healing, identity work, learning to trust the unseen, and completely changing her relationship with money, success and herself.

LISTEN NOW »

Ep 816 Why Do You Procrastinate When You KNOW What to Do?

You know you need to post the content, talk about your offer, hire the help, make the investment, have the conversation, or finally start the thing you’ve been thinking about for months.

You’ve researched it. Planned it. Journaled about it. Asked ChatGPT 47 different ways. And you’re still not taking action.

This isn’t a motivation or discipline problem. And it definitely doesn’t mean you’re lazy.

Procrastination and self-sabotage can be automatic stress responses designed to protect you from what taking action might expose you to: failure, rejection, judgment, uncertainty, visibility, and even success.

LISTEN NOW »

Ep 815 How to Stay Calm During Stressful Conversations & Around Difficult People w/ Dr. Jeremy Pollack

Have you ever replayed a conversation in your head for hours… wishing you had said something differently? Or found yourself shutting down, getting defensive, people-pleasing, or saying something you instantly regretted?

What if the problem isn’t your communication skills?
What if it’s your nervous system?

In this fascinating conversation, I sit down with Dr. Jeremy Pollack, psychologist, neuroscience-based conflict resolution expert, and author of Wired for Peace, to unpack why difficult conversations feel so overwhelming, how your brain responds to conflict, and the practical neuroscience-backed tools that can help you stay calm under pressure.

LISTEN NOW »